Negative Nancy

Its almost been a week since I got back from Paris. (Post on training at one of the Clubs in Paris to come later) The last day I was there I was starting to feel a bit sick and when I got back I was full out sick, major congestion = head ache + earache.  Horrible way to come back home. 

Monday I went o my BF's No-Gi class and destroyed my elbow.  We were playing king of the mat (and we have a few new people for the summer)  I was in line for the next round and the girl in front of me decided to pass the round, so I jumped in. Starting in Mount, bottom person just has to get to better position while the top person tries to maintain or submit.  Well....the guy went hog wild (keep in mind that I am only 125lbs) I went flying, posted out to maintain top, but he muscled me over and crushed my own arm under me.  It happened really quick and I didn't even have time to verbally...say anything before it was too late. It hurts like a SOB.  I had to sit out for the rest of the class. 

Tuesday I said 'EFFF this STUPID arm' and went to Gi class anyway.  I figured that I could at least do technique.  By the time it was time for rolling, I decided that I was warmed up enough and I would roll anyways...I would just be gentle and let people know I was a little gimpy on one side.   Nothing went wrong, just got crushed as usual. 

I am getting really frustrated lately, like...really. I don't know what I could/should do to ride out this frustration or turn it into something positive. I know that it is part of the whole 'proccess'...I wouldn't be doing this if it was EASY.  Easy is boring and I wouldn't put as much heart into it if it was.  Doing something hard and getting results are what makes it worth it...that's accomplishing something...that is what  feels good!  But right now, it just feels extremely hard, like I am spinning my wheels (maybe I am PMSing and things are just exaggerated, Hahhhhhhah!) I don't know if I should train harder or more often, look for seminars, start competitng...talk to a higher belt about it, maybe get a few privates, read some books, watch some DVD's???  In the end I am responsible for my OWN training and my own results.  I have to hold myself accountable.